beyond the boundaries of nationality

I have a different perception of what nationality than most people, I think. That is because I see the dangers in allowing yourself to be defined by a certain nationality.

Having a fixed perception of nationality means subscribing to the narrative that the dominant source of epistemology has assigned to you. Therefore, whoever and whatever does not fit into that definition of citizenship is excluded, sometimes politically (which is the easiest to notice but perhaps the least painful because it is something you can openly fight about) and sometimes cultural (which is less tangible but still allows something for concrete discussion)... and then sometimes in ways that don't make any sense at all and have no backing whatsoever. It's when you FEEL like someone is an outsider because of a reason you cannot quite grasp, and that is because whatever your version of humanhood is has become so deeply embedded and internalized in your mind that you cannot even locate it in your memory.

Today, as I was browsing Amazon.com for new books to indulge in and screening the podcasts for some interesting topic, I noticed I was being drawn to titles like "America Abroad" and "How to Converse Intellectually on American History." I wanted to know what it was to be "American," whatever that meant, and in order to do that, I had to know what this country's official narrative was. To put it shortly, I had to know the lingo in order to have people respect me as someone living on American soil. But why is this bothering me so much? Of course, as an American you should know about what's going on with your country.

I think being aware of what's going on in the world is essential, but viewing and understanding people and experiences through the lens of nationality allows for people to develop a consciousness of the other... without even knowing it. It's the same discomfort I felt at the conference I was at a few days ago when a policy expert, who we described as being "borderline racist," kept saying "We Americans" and "You Chinese" in a tone that barely gave any credit to the Chinese delegates.

Anna told me she doesn't really agree with what I'm saying. But she did say that my ideas are probably influenced by the fact that I grew up in the South in the U.S., which basically meant that my experiences with racism and peripheral existence were the foundation of my beliefs. She's probably right. Who isn't influenced by their past experiences? But I have a human need to have my experienced be legitimized and understood, not as some isolated incident, but an ongoing fight against this invisible hegemony of rationality and whiteness.