Every time I have to write a paper for class, I make up every excuse NOT to concentrate on it. I feel a sudden urge to clean my entire room, which usually stays untouched and pretty messy on a normal basis, and when that's not enough, I start organizing my roommate's stuff on the other side of the room. Then I start cleaning the kitchen, the living room, sweeping the floor, doing the dishes, even scrubbing the bathroom floors. Anything is better than having to sit in front of this computer and type out a paper. Anything.
I have a tendency to start making lists of things I have to do when I don't really want to do them. So I start with the current time (which right now is 5:21 pm) and plan out my the rest of my day exactly, detailing every thought I must think and action I must take to get something done by the time I go to sleep. For instance:
5:21-5:40 Write in blog about not being able to write my paper
5:40-5:45 Browse the internet to take a break
5:45-6:15 Read paper on North Korean economy by Hong Sung Kook and summarize
6:15-7:00 Write first page of paper
7:00-8:00 Dinner (yay!)
8:00-9:00 Read more papers on North Korean economy by other authors
9:00-11:00 Write page 2-4 of paper
11:00-11:30 Wash up and go to sleep
It's not that I'm OCD. I just like to imagine what I would most ideally be doing at certain times of the day. The funny thing is, once I finish writing the list, I rarely ever look at it again. Thus my conclusion that I'm the most impractical, inefficient person in the world. I just need some sort of therapy to convince myself that I'm being effective.
Even after I manage to sit myself down in front of the computer and open up Office, I continue to fidget. I start browsing the internet, "looking for references and sources" for my paper. Facebook is the devil. That's why I deactivated it. But just a couple of minutes ago, I forgot I had deactivated it and logged on. As easily as 1-2-3. They make it too easy to come back. It's an addiction I can't overcome.
I'm going crazy. I need to finish this paper but my mind is filled with everything BUT that wretched paper. Is there any way to cure myself?
Monday, April 20, 2009
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